What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
