I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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