Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
