Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
