I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
