I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
