VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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