wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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