sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
