mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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