Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
