i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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