So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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