I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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