Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
