so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
