Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
