Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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