I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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