He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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