Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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