He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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