i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He shit in the fireplace
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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