I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
