The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
