Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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