yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
