i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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