on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
