I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
