he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
