Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
