i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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