Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize