Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize