textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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