I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize