i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
