I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
