Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
third nipple confirmed
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
