i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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