Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
