That's intense
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
