So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
