party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
