On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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