Did you just see the Batmobile???
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
