well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Randomize
