I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
