You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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