You really coming over, don't trick.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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