We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize