My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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