I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
