i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
