omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
