found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
