lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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