is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
