i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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