this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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