No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
