Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
