I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
