Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
