that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
